Sometimes I wonder , Am I Cheating as a Stay at Home Mom? I am truly blessed to not have to leave my home every day to go to work. 2 ½ years ago my husband and I decided that after 15 years in the medical field I was burned out and needed a change. I would come home so mentally exhausted from multi-tasking all day that I would fall asleep on the couch. We weren’t spending much time together. My husband is a System Administrator in our local hospital. He works hard, often late at night after the bulk of the hospital activity is calmer. He was selflessly managing all his work and the house responsibilities without complaint, but he was tired as well. We decided that we were managing our financial situation well and I could help my husband more by taking care of the household needs versus bringing home a paycheck. This would allow him time to relax when he came home and would ease my mental overload. So I did it, I left my job and became a stay at home Mom.
At that time stay at home Mom was a stretch, it was more housewife. My daughter and bonus children were with us Friday night to Sunday night. I had no children to get up for school, to prepare for the day, to make lunches for. I could sleep in. I ran errands like grocery shopping and took care of the house. On the weekend I was Mom and helped with homework, played, etc. The advantage was the majority of the household chores were done, so there was more play time. It stayed this way for a year. Then my ex-husband decided to move out off the country
My daughter moved in with us full-time in the summer of 2015. She still visited her father as he didn’t leave until fall that year, but her visits were minimal. She was extremely upset that he was leaving and he was spending a lot of time going back and forth to Canada. My bonus children were still on a weekend schedule.
Now I had the opportunity to feel like I was being a Mom. I had someone to tend too. She was turning 14 so she was extremely capable, but it was nice to be hands on again. I was checking up on homework, taking her to and from school, making lunches, going on school field trips and tucking her in at night.
At the beginning of 2016 our schedule with our younger children changed. We now have them from Thursday after school until Sunday afternoon. The trick to that, the kids live and go to school almost an hour away. I have to pick up my daughter at school and the drive an hour to get the kids and an hour to drive back. On Fridays I have to drop my daughter off at school and then drive an hour to drop off the kids and then drive back home, and then pick my daughter up in the afternoon, drive to pick up the kids and then drive back home. That is 4 hours in the car for me. We have homework to attend to on Thursday nights and I have more lunches to make on Friday mornings. Friday is definitely the day when I feel like a Super Mom.
Our children are in 4th grade, 5th grade and 9th grade, so there are no children to take care of during the day except for no school days and summer. So is it fair to say I’m a stay at home Mom? I’m never quite sure. My oldest daughter has a 2 year old and a 6 year old. The 6 year old is in school all day now, but the 2 year old is home with her all day. She often says she can’t seem to get anything done. My whole day is free during school hours. I can go anywhere, do anything and it’s uninterrupted, as long as I am available to pick up kids at school.
So am I cheating as a stay at home Mom or am I a housewife? People often think that a stay at home Mom isn’t a real job, if I had young ones at home I would beg to differ, but without children during the day am I just a lucky Mom with a lazy day? My husband tells me I am a wonderful Mom and that I help him out incredibly by taking care of the home and being there for the children. I hope he is right. I am blessed that we are in the situation that we are that I can be home, that I can participate in school functions and take care of them when they are home sick. I thank my husband every day for encouraging and supporting our life choice, it wouldn’t be possible without him. My Blended Stay at home Mom Life makes me a very Happy Wife.