I always wished to be a stay-at-home Mom. My Mom was a stay-at home Mom when I was young, she would work off shift jobs and eventually go back to work when I was a teenager.
She would clean during the day and dinner was ready or just about ready when my Dad got home. I wanted to be the perfect Mom, with perfect children and a perfect home. In my first marriage there was just no reasonable way we could do that financially.
Working Mom or Stay At Home? Work.
I was in the work force for 25+ years, 15 of those spent in the Medical Field as a Medical Secretary, and for a handful of years working 2 jobs at a time. I often found myself so mentally exhausted from multitasking so much during the day and working so many hours that I would pass out on the couch at night
My second husband (I call him my best husband) works as a Systems Administrator for a local hospital and was often feeling the same when he got home. The mundane everyday chores were just not getting done, such as laundry, dishes and cooking, we found ourselves eating out way too much. We would spend the weekend getting caught up and not really gegting to enjoy as much time with our children as we wanted.
My husband suggested that if I stayed home I could do those everyday chores during the day, I could start dinner and then when he got home, we could actually unwind together and he could relax from his hectic day. If it sounds like he had an ulterior motif you could say yes, but only in the best possible way.
Working Mom or Stay At Home? Stay At Home.
Who wouldn’t love not having to go to work? Having a leisurely day, working around the house instead of the rush, rush, rush life. i would love to be able to stay awake in the evening and actually enjoy spending time with my husband and children and not be so exhausted. It is also scary. It is a whole lifestyle change. My friends said I would be bored after a while, I didn’t agree. My children are in school all day so I have a lot of quiet time on my hands but, I have so many craft projects I want to do. I scrapbook, my daughter who is 21 has a scrapbook that is only completed up to age 11, my 15 year old is even less fortunate, I haven’t made it out of her first year yet. Not to mention I now have 2 bonus children and 2 grandchildren who I haven’t even started yet. I also was looking forward to working on our family genealogy project, which is huge! There are a million other craft projects as well. I would also be able to spend the school vacations and summer with my children and grandchildren. I won’t be bored until I’m dead.
We were financially able to live off of one income, but it did mean no unnecessary spending. Dinners out would have to become a rarity and frivolous spending would have to become a thing of the past. It is very much a change in the way you handle everything unless you start out your marriage living from one paycheck. There won’t be any big family vacations without diligent saving. That doesn’t mean we won’t take vacations, but it means they will be less fancy, shorter, or closer to home. Sticking to the budget is an absolute; there is little wiggle room without the second paycheck. My best advice to newly married couples, if you can start out just living on one paycheck you will be so much better off. When the time comes to have children, it will make the decision of a parent staying home so much easier. Even if you are a couple that doesn’t plan on having children, putting that extra paycheck away is a bonus in any way you look at it.
Some of the Challenges for Me
I miss adult interaction during the day. Although now with blogging I have found a lot of great groups on social media and feel like I’m getting more contact then I was before I started blogging.
I talk to the UPS driver, Fed EX driver and Mailman more than I talk to my friends.
I no longer pick up Dunkin Donuts coffee or Starbucks, its all K-Cups in my Keurig
I have to think about the dinner menu everyday instead of using the excuse “nothing is thawed”
I feel like I’m being lazy if I don’t make my bed.
I feel like I have to get the chores done every day. I feel if I don’t get something done I’m not doing my part. (My husband never complains about this, It’s all me)
I have a hard time remembering what day of the week it is
Some of My Wonderful Perks
I no longer have to worry about taking a day off if I have a sick child.
I traded in work clothes and scrubs for jeans, flannel shirts, t shirts and yoga pants, somedays I even stay in my pajama bottoms until it’s time to pick my kids up from school. I don’t often wear makeup or jewelry and my hair is usually pulled up in a clip or a ponytail.
I no longer have to worry about taking time off for appointments for my children or myself.
I know every commercial break time of the Today show and feel like they are broadcasting only to me (this is only wonderful if you enjoy the Today show)
I don’t have to count my vacation and sick time
I can go on field trips with my children
My oldest daughter, who is visually impaired and can’t drive, can count on me to be able to drive her to appointments or errands.
There are minimal chores left to do on the weekends which means more family time
I don’t have to travel in snow
Things to Think About
I could have continued working. We would have a wonderful savings account, but the benefits for our family outweighed the paycheck. Living on one paycheck is definitely a decision you need to give a lot of thought. It is not for everyone. There is also absolutely nothing wrong if you decide to be a working Mom. I did it for a long time and my children never doubted I loved them, or lacked in their care. Some Moms truly enjoy their career and I think if you are one of those Moms you should consider yourself blessed that you are doing what you love. For some families it is just not realistic financially to have that option, it never would have happened in my first marriage. For Moms who want and are able to stay home, you should carefully assess the pros and cons as well as go over your budget with a fine tooth come. Are there things you could live without? Is there room to trim down the finances? Can you handle only having children, delivery men and dogs to talk too? Will you feel satisfied and fulfilled? We were able to answer yes to these questions. I do know that there could come a time where we have to reassess and I may have to go back to work. But for now, I am thrilled and blessed to have this opportunity to make life easier for my husband and be more available for my children. I’ll take it as long as it lasts.
My Stay-at-Home Blended Life Makes Me a Very Happy Wife
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